Vows
We’ve joined the ranks of the senior citizens who meet five days a week for breakfast. They are called the Wrinkle Club, and most are related to each other. Two brothers and their wives, their widower cousin, one of the wives’ widower cousins and his daughter, a newlywed couple who both lost their first spouses…well, you get the picture. They laugh, tell jokes, talk politics, show pictures on their phones, try to help each other FIGURE OUT their phones, and share life together. What a fun group they are!
There are some other regulars at our breakfast spot, too. There’s the 96-year-old retired radio announcer (72 years in broadcasting!) who fist bumps all of us and calls us by name while his daughter orders his breakfast. He reminds us to pray for our country. There’s the elderly man who meets with his son-in-law nearly every day. Several couples come in, too. It seems breakfast out is a good way to start the day and who wants to cook anyway?
I’d noticed this one couple who come every single day. He shuffles ahead of her, a frail little man with a gentle smile. She holds onto his arm and at twice his size, she could pull them both down with a slight misstep; she follows him to their booth and waits for him to bring their meal. Sometimes her wig is lopsided, but she’s always dressed nicely. She’ll smile at you if you catch her looking at you and smile first. They quietly and slowly eat their breakfast and after a while, she takes his arm and follows him back to the car and they’re gone again.
I talked to him the other day as we were in line together and I commended him for taking such good care of his wife. He said he was keeping his vow, for better or worse, in sickness and in health. She has dementia and no longer knows who he is or remembers anything about their life together. I could tell he was deeply pained by that loss, but he loves her still. With tears in his eyes, he told me how they’d moved to our area from another state to live near their daughter so he could have help with his wife. He didn’t complain, but it was obviously a difficult decision. He was a retired pastor and served in his last church for over 30 years. The move was emotionally hard and he left behind his support group.
This man could have easily put her in an assisted living facility. He could have let someone else take care of her even at home. He didn’t because he’d made a vow, which he repeated to me several times. He wants to get her out of the house. She should see people, even if she doesn’t know them. He’s loving her the best way he knows how.
It’s easy to make a vow to do this or to do that. How often do we “bargain” with God and tell Him if he does this, we will do that? Does that matter to Him?
“This is the word which the Lord has commanded. If a man makes a vow to the Lord, or takes an oath to bind himself with a binding obligation, he shall not violate his word; he shall do according to all that proceeds out of his mouth.” Numbers 30:1-2
We often hear about keeping marriage vows and that we should! But what about other promises we make to God or other people? How good is our word? God has commanded that we keep our vows. In a day where men (and women) love to hear themselves talk and they so often talk out of both sides of their mouths, it’s hard to know what to believe.
May we be women of integrity in our families, our communities, our workplaces, and before God.
